It’s been a while since I become aware that my main goal in life is my own well-being and happiness. That I came into the world alone and that I will leave alone, that I am my best friend and so I have to take care of… myself. And that out of my joy, I can also help others.
Maybe the word ” awareness” is used too often lately, but its essence is true: you understand in your mind in vain, if the information does not penetrate inside you, in your soul, but remains in your mind, where it is stored on a shelf, waiting for further use. If we are not aware of it, it will lie there, on the shelf, like an extremely useful spice, but which, if we do not know how to use it, we will ignore. The same with well-being: theoretically we all know that we want to be well, but the soul is drowned in pain and ignorance. Why are we not well?
We think that if we care about ourselves we are selfish.
We feel guilty for wanting to take a break, even if we haven’t reached the limit. Because we know this: you only take a break when the knife reaches your bone and you can’t take it anymore. If we can still walk and think reasonably, we pull ourselves to exhaustion.
We are not selfish if when we wake up in the morning we put on our slippers, go to the bathroom and then drink a glass of water before preparing breakfast for the whole family. We are not selfish if we go for a health assessment, take the correct prescribed medication and eat healthy before we perform our work duties. But we are not selfish if, before we take care of others, we take care of ourselves first. We all remember the educational story of the mother who first puts on her own oxygen mask on the plane before doing the same for her child. If we are not well, then those around us, the loved ones who depend on us, are not well either.
We don’t know how to say “NO”.
This happens because we have not set reasonable boundaries for ourselves, boundaries that others should respect without question. In order to do that, we need to have self-consciousness. To know the values with which we resonate, to know what makes us happy and what hurts us. And to spend time with ourselves, to know, accept and love ourself. To respect ourselves and not allow others to disrespect us. It’s none of our business if others challenge our boundaries, they are non-negotiable.
We care too much about what others think.
There is a mad rush for validation these days. We put on such thick masks to be approved and praised that we don’t even know who we really are anymore. If we ever knew. What’s worse is that we sometimes mistake these masks for our true selves. Again, I plead for personal time, for care, for introspection, for knowledge. If we reach mental and soul maturity, and know ourselves well enough, we no longer depend on external validation. It only gives us a state of contentment, but our actions no longer depend on it.
We suppress our originality.
We get so caught up in the herd mentality that we lose our identity. And so we are manipulated. All marketing is based on our fear of invalidation and herd mentality. This is how we are sold things that we do not need or that harm us. This is how we are kept in fear addiction.
When we are afraid, the whole body is on alert. Our body secrets cortisol and adrenaline, which tense our muscles and send all the energy to them. We don’t need thyroid, spleen and kidneys when we feel attacked, we need muscles to break it on the run. We don’t need to think, because there is no time. Yes, we don’t think when we are afraid. We do not reflect on the ephemerality of life. We’re just running away.
No one is attacking us, that’s just how we feel. We call this stress. We are scared to death all the time. Our body no longer distinguishes between a bear attack and the pesticides in tomatoes and the world occult that wants to annihilate us. Like I said, when you’re afraid you don’t think. All the energy goes down from the brain and from the organs considered “non-vital”, into the muscles. And they tense up. They stay tense all the time, because the bear gets bored and goes into his den, but the occult and the pesticides don’t tire and attack us non-stop. And we get sick. No, not from pesticides, but from fear. Unnourished organs and tense muscles get sick.
We don’t accept our vulnerability.
As someone commented on a Facebook post, “if we knew how vulnerable we are we wouldn’t leave the house”. Of course we are vulnerable. And fear makes us even more vulnerable. But let’s also be aware how strong we are in our vulnerability. How invincible we are in authenticity. How great we are when we get up from the ground, shake off the dust and move on.
So let’s stop paying attention to everything that is said in the media: TV, Youtube, Facebook and other social networks. If a story appeals to the emotional, it is made to manipulate. If you recognize a grain of truth, but the rest of the news seems unbelievable, the whole news is bullshit. You don’t need almost anything that is sold to you. Information is necessary, but too much information confuses us and does not give us time to judge with our heart, not just our mind.
We are rigid in our thinking.
When we think we know it all and have nothing left to learn, we start to die a little. The only thing that never changes is death. Life means change, flow, evolution. What would it be like to stay all our lives the same as the moment we appeared in the world? With the body and mind of a newborn? When we determine that we have nothing left to learn, the decline begins. When we cling to objects, people, habits, we don’t leave room for change. And when we don’t let the mind expand and say that things can only be done this way and no other way, we don’t give ourselves a chance to heal. Because stagnation and rigidity mean disease.
Why do we sabotage ourselves like this?
That’s how we learned in our childhood. At home, from parents, and at school, from teachers and peers. Someone used to say that school education is training, not education. We are trained to integrate into society. No one thinks of the good of the individual, but only of the good of society. Up to a point, it is only natural that this should happen. It is no longer natural when you are forced to put the good of society before the good of the individual. You are “educated” to give up on yourself.
*
I realized that my main goal in life is my well-being. If I feel good, if I am happy, I can also bring happiness into the lives of others. I can’t make others happy if I’m unhappy. And if those around me are also happy, they will never ask me to “sacrifice myself” for them. They will be happy that I am happy and they will be happy with me. I do not accept or ask anyone to “sacrifice” for me.
If someone is unhappy, it’s never my fault, it’s theirs. I can stand by him and support him to find happiness, but I can’t make him happy. Happiness and well-being is a personal mission. No, you are not selfish if you want to be happy and if you are in pursuit of your happiness!
