Yesterday I talked to two unhappy women. They have physical and emotional problems, but their attention is on other people, things or activities than their own person and their own needs. They complained that no one understood or helped them, although they did everything for other people.
We should understand the dynamics of the action of giving and taking. Always if you give too much, you take too little, and if you take too much, you give too little. That’s the way it is, we can’t change it. You can’t take much and give much from the same place. It’s not enough there to do so. That is why a balance must be kept between taking and giving. In theory, it’s simple, if you keep giving and taking nothing, you have to stop giving in order to take.
The purpose of women is to feed
Physical, emotional, educational food. And the first container for nourishment must be your own person. The woman must educate herself, heal, pamper, happy, nourish first. I know women who put themselves first and radiate positive energy around them. They are beautiful, neat, rested, always smiling, calm, always kind to those around them. Their children and their partners are happy and respect those women, respect their private time, just for them. How good it would be to learn from them!
I know that the road from the woman who does first for others and neglects themselves to the woman who puts themselves first in their lives is long and difficult, I know because I was there. First you feel guilty for wanting to give yourself time and attention in the detriment of others, then you run into opposition from those around you who have learned a certain way from you and tell you that you are selfish and you believe them.
Listen to me, woman, you deserve it! You deserve your personal time, in which to do everything that goes through your head to feel good and look good, to charge yourself with positive energy, to have something to give to others. If you are always unhappy, tired and sick, what do you give to those around you? The food you put on the table is loaded with disease, the clothes are washed in fatigue, and the children grow up unhappily. Think about it and start the path that leads to your happiness and fulfillment and then to your loved ones.
What does this wonderful path involve?
Freedom. The freedom you give to yourself. It took me a while to understand that freedom does not mean others allowing you things, but first and foremost allowing yourself. Even when we blame others (because it’s easier that way than digging inside ourselves, because who knows what fear, guilt or helplessness we find). Yes, woman, when you blame others for you not being able to do something good just for you, when you say that your husband does not allow you, that you do not have time because of your children or parents, in fact you do not allow yourself. Because you’re afraid to get out of the famous comfort zone, the warm soup you’ve been in all your life, the only thing you know, because that’s how you were educated by your parents, who in turn were educated by their parents.
I don’t criticize anyone, because “whoever is spotless should throw the first stone”. I’m not spotless, I’ve been there. You know how it is, the 1000 mile road begins with the first step. And the first step is to realize that you are not allowing yourself to live, it is not the fault of others. How do you know that? You don’t let others be either. You cling to your husband, your children, your parents, your siblings, you try to control them, you get upset if they don’t do what you want, when you want, how you want. Yes, instead of focusing on yourself, you focus on others, ignoring your own person.
And you suffer. You may not realize it, but you suffer, because others are not your extension, they can’t always do just what you want, and you suffer for it. When you realize that the only person who belongs to you is you, the only person who can do whatever you want is your own person, then you will be free. And there will no longer be an outsider who has to allow you time to do something, it will all depend on you. Scary, isn’t it? What comes from inside us is much more complicated than what comes from outside. That’s the real freedom.
First step to freedom
The first step to inner freedom, true freedom, is hard, painful, frightening, but the next ones are not easy either. Because everything you knew about yourself is falling apart, you’re like a newborn trying to learn to walk, and you keep falling down. And it’s not nice to learn to walk at 30, 40 or 50 years old. Okay, I’m free, so what do I do with myself now? Until now I knew what I was doing, I was taking care of others, most of the time I didn’t exist for myself, except when something hurt, I was too tired, frustrated, nervous, and now I have to learn to be happy, me, myself and I. How do I do that?
First of all, you have faith. I would say patience too, but patience didn’t always work out for me, and that made me suffer even more. Now your inner energy has changed and you will begin to attract people and circumstances that are on the same energy level as you. Someone recommends a book, a workshop, a show on Youtube, gives you advice. Coincidences? Providence? You can call it whatever you want, as long as it lays a brick on the house that will become your new person.
Sky is the limit
At first you will be confused, sometimes you will return to the old matrix, but then you will understand that there is no way back. A new horizon has opened up for you and you will want to see what is beyond it. You will be scared of the unknown, but every little victory will make you want to move on. A dance class, pilates, personal development class, a trip alone or with friends, wonderful new people you meet along the way, all this and other amazing discoveries will recharge your batteries.
Your wheels will start to move in a different way, and your mind and even your body will change until you become unrecognizable. Believe me, I’m not talking from books, there are people who didn’t recognize me after not seeing me for a few years. A new world has exploded for me in billions of colorful stars, and I want them all. I realized that this colorful world had always been in me, but I wouldn’t let it out. When I allowed myself to learn, explore, and enjoy myself, I began to cleanse my soul and contribute positively, first around me, then to expand my circle as much as possible. This is how I contribute to a clean and beautiful world, as a woman.
