I’m going to tell you a story from a few years ago, from the time when I was not in remission. I was having a good period compared to my usual periods where I was in quite a lot of pain. On the day I’m talking about, I had only a slight limp, which faded if I took even steps and had no curbs or stairs to climb. Like I said, it was a good day.
I had to get somewhere and I was in a hurry, so I asked my husband to drive me to the trolley station. He was leaving for work and made a small detour for me. When he stopped the car, 50 meters from the station, the trolleybus was also stopping. I ran to catch it, I was in a hurry. Running, I saw my husband laughing as he overtook me. I got on the trolley and collapsed into an empty seat, out of breath.
**
In the evening, I asked him why he was laughing in the morning, when he took me to the trolleybus station.
He answered me:
– Because you were barely moving, and the trolleybus was waiting for you.
Me, very surprised:
– What do you mean I was barely moving!? I was running as hard as I could!
-You were moving like a tripping snail.
Reality is objective, our perception of reality is subjective
And yet, for us more important is the subjectivity of the perception of reality, than the blunt objectivity of reality. That is, it does not matter what it is, but how we understand what it is.
In the case above, we have the same incident seen differently by two people.
Me: a person with ankylosing spondylitis who limped but wanted to catch the trolleybus at the station. Even as a child, when I was still healthy, I was unable to run. I remember in high school, when I took the endurance test, I ran 800 meters in 15 minutes. After 100 meters I ran out of breath, so I walked the remaining 700 meters.
To me it felt like I was running, and fast.
My husband: ex-athlete, used to run 800m under 2 minutes, and now handles a good run, even though he’s past half-life.
His perception was that I was barely moving.
None of us were right, and none of us were wrong. They were just two different perceptions of the same reality.
**
On the day I write this article I am not having a good day. I limp slightly around the house and have a pain in my ribs that cuts like a knife every time I make a sudden twisting of my torso. Although the pains are similar to those in the story above, I don’t consider myself having a good day. Remember I said that was a good day? Because the period was bad, with intense pain. But now I’m having a good time, where most days are pain free. So, I consider a day like this a bad day.
If I put the 2 days side by side the pains are comparable, but my perception is that I have a bad day today. Do you see how the perception of reality changes again?
Perception is the process by which we interpret reality
Everyone has a unique interpretation of reality, resulting from upbringing, life experience, habits, native intelligence, momentary disposition, etc. You remember the example of the glass half full of water. Someone can see the glass as half empty and someone else as half full. Someone considers himself tormented by an illness, another may consider the same illness as a teacher who teaches him useful things. And someone may consider divorce as the end of life, another as its beginning.
We can’t change reality, but we can change our perception
And so our personal reality will change. Mahatma Gandhi said: “We only mirror the world. All tendencies present in the outer world are found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the trends in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the world’s attitude towards him change. This is the ultimate divine mystery. It is a wonderful thing and the source of our happiness. We don’t have to wait to see what others are doing.”
When we manage to change our perception, as if by miracle reality will also change. My perception in the story at the beginning of the article was that I can run fast enough to catch the trolleybus. The reality was that the driver was waiting for me and I caught him. If I had said to myself: “I can’t run, my leg hurts, and anyway it’s too far, I won’t catch it”, I would have had to wait a few more minutes and I would have been late.
Regardless of external reality, our perception matters most. And perception can be educated, with patience, over time. We will be amazed how everything around us will change. A few years ago my perception was that I was too sick and too old to do things that would bring me pleasure and joy. My perception now is that I am healthy enough to lead a life full of joy and fulfillment. And guess what? I can really do anything I want after changing my perception! My body has changed, the people around me have changed, my activities have changed!
Henry David Thoreau said: “The question is not what you look at, but what you see.” Looking at the same thing (my life), I chose to see something else.
