When you’re young and healthy you think you can do it all. And it’s normal like that, action and daring are the prerogative of youth, to want and be able to do everything, to expand, to explore.
As you move forward in life, attention focuses on certain activities. Sometimes you give up what you don’t like and don’t serve you, sometimes you don’t, you keep them under inertia. Maybe you got too caught up in them, like in a spider’s web, and you can’t let go. But you feel like you’ve pushed yourself too hard and it’s too much.
After 50, the strength slowly begins to leave you. You don’t notice or accept. Or you notice and get depressed. You get tired faster. And you can no longer cope with the multitude of duties that have seized you. You feel without escape, as in a vise that tightens you more and more.
What to do?
The solution lies in making life more efficient, in all its aspects: making the home, relationships and professional life more efficient. Reducing duties and activities to the level where you can breathe and rest as much as you need. To be able to do things at your own pace, with pleasure and with all your heart. To have time to live.
Making the house more efficient
I have chaotic people around me, who can’t finish an action and can’t get somewhere on time. They are always agitated, nervous, always looking for something around the house and can’t find it. And they never have time to take care of themselves and it shows in their health. They are always complaining and apologizing. Someone or something else is to blame for the fact that they cannot organize themselves.
The houses of these people are just like them: chaos, disorder, useless things lying everywhere, making any attempt at cleanliness and organization impossible. They buy new things because they can’t find the old ones, they buy a lot of food because it spoils quickly due to improper storage and they have to throw it away. By not respecting their things in the house, they do not respect their work and money, they do not respect themselves.
You don’t need to make more money, you need to spend less. An organized home means less money spent. That way, you won’t need to work harder to make more money, and you’ll have more time and energy to take care of what matters most: yourself.
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The first rule of an organized house is: everything has its well-established space. To be able to find your purse, keys, corkscrew, roll of XS size bags or spare toilet paper in a second.
Second rule: treat things with respect. Do not slam them, do not force them, clean them after each use and put them in their place. Do not cram too many things into a space, you will damage them and you will not be able to keep them in order. Treat them the way you want to be treated. Do you want to be respected? Respect every being and thing in turn. I have written extensively about order in the house in this article.
If you will always have the house in order, you will not have to waste your time and energy cleaning or making shopping lists. You will see at a glance what is not in the designated place and you will know what to do.
Making relationships more efficient
I wanted children when I was young, as most people do. It was not to be. Later I understood that I was not given to have children, and I stopped bothering with tests and medical procedures, spending money, time and health, and I stopped longing to see mothers with small children. It’s not for me, chapter closed.
As you get older you accumulate life experiences. You make a mistake, you fall, you hit the ground with flying colors. If you get up, dust yourself off and move on not making the same mistakes, it means you have gained wisdom. One of the greatest signs of wisdom is not to cling to people, things, events, “what ifs…”. To feel when things have reached the end and no longer serve you, on the contrary, they drag you down, not allowing you to move forward. To let them go.
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This can also apply to relationships. A friendship that made you happy in your youth, in adulthood can prevent you from living your life the way you would like. Mature children don’t need you anymore, they are independent and can go about their own lives without you babysitting them. A couple relationship in which there is no more friendship, love and understanding can turn you into a victim. Pals, acquaintances, less close relationships, can consume your time, without serving you anything.
A true relationship is a relationship that feeds your soul and helps both parties. You know that you can always rely on a true friend, that he will accept you unconditionally and that he will enjoy your successes. And this definition of a friend also applies to the adult child and life partner. If you feel great joy when you are in someone’s presence, keep them in your life. If not, let them go.
Making professional life more efficient
As I said in this article, I had a good paying job. But working in that job was not fulfilling, what I was doing was repetitive and sometimes pointless work. I felt that I was consuming my energy and time with red tape, energy and time that could be better invested in streamlining my work and working with the public. Although I was working hard, I felt useless. There were a lot of people who got on each other’s feet and nerves. The office was overcrowded, stuffy, very hot… It was not a good environment for living and working. I’ve got sick. Me and other colleagues. There was always someone on sick leave.
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If you have reached the age of adulthood, it is assumed that your career path is already well established. That you have a career, a profession, a well-defined job. Or not. Does not matter. It matters if you love what you do and if your work fits harmoniously into your life. I know that after a certain age it is more difficult than when you were young to find a job, any job, where you can earn at least the money necessary for daily life. But I say it’s more important to like what you do, have a pleasant work environment and colleagues and bosses to get along with.
If you don’t like your job, your colleagues, your superior, if you don’t like what you do, you will get sick. And a sick man cannot work and cannot lead a normal and pleasant life. Waking up every day with the thought that you are going to a workplace you do not like is not the best choice in life.
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If you are over 50, rejoice. You are part of a minority of people (around 25%) who have this privilege. And you have the necessary knowledge, experience and possibility to have a beautiful life in the future. You have learned that time is precious and that it is not worth wasting it complaining, gossiping, criticizing others and continuing the same wrong habits of your youth. Nor by working needlessly and without measure, keeping relationships that no longer fulfill you and clinging to people and things.
Life is beautiful if you make it so.
